I wanted to write for days, but I was unsure what to expel.. I figure the truth, cause who the hell cares.

This dream world they speak of; show me the difference.
Facing what's real; show me how to be optimistic.

I've failed at this already, so I guess it's now or never.
So let the truth be told, I need to meet with that Rocafella.
Wayne, you too, cause you got game.
Ya'll talk for me ..I'm tired of explaining.

Delusions of Grandeur, yes, and misunderstood.
Who else will have dreams of me getting out of the hood.

Surrounded by skin much lighter than mine.. but I make the choice to stay at the back of the line.

They say they know what's wrong..tell me what's right.

Alcohol is legal .. Marijuana is illicit.. ..
But Delirium Tremens can kill when you quit it.

Mr. Officer, don't blue light me .. no cause for D.U.I..
I am honestly on a natural high.

I am scared .. yep fighting.. fighting scared as hell.
And I may have OCD since God is my wishing well.

I don't know where I'm going .. no fucking idea.
I don't even feel welcome here.

A statistic with things to lose ..
I chose school because I had to..

Don't lab rat me for trying to deliberate my thoughts..
I'm struggling to survive at all costs.

Rent isn't paid, and I've got four quarters on it ..
In this life, I'll never judge who has five on it ..

And if my boss reads this, I may lose my job ..
They'll think I'm ill.. that I've got a loose knob.

And I'd smile and say Thank You, and felineishly walk away ..
They'd be right ..I'm sick of that shit anyway ..

But back to reality .. responsibility .. obligations I must meet.
Deluding to Grandeur to dull the misery.

This may go unnoticed .. these tries at doing "right"..
But you'd notice who made First 48 tonight ..

You'd know what they did, who it was, if they hid..
You'd know if they folded .. you'd know they didn't bend..

SMH at you America..
You're in a fucked up way..
But I need Benzodiazepines and Barbiturates..

No Thank You, not today.

I may come back to this, and call myself crazy..
But at least through the day, I've made it.

~Abnormal.