My blood tried to stick it in when I was nine I think..
stuck his fingers in my panties, then I washed in the sink.

It wouldn't fit, so he motioned me to suck his dick instead..
I did.. he came
I guess that was good head.

I swallowed the shit..a kid ..ain't that a bitch..
Now I'm grown, and I'm pissed.

And you wonder why some days I smile and then not.
You wonder why some days I'm cool, and then hot.

He and his friends took me on a ride on the interstate with some number..
a nigga named mack dug in my vagina, I remember.

And this shit has me sick, and I'm mad as hell.
And I want dudes to protect me, cause before they failed.

And this is living hell, and you think I'm fucked up.
And, yes I need the pain..that's why I'm tattooed up.

Lord keep me close.. this precious jewel in need.
I'm feeling like a wild ass, fucked up seed.

As I proceed to make dreams of my everyday thoughts..
I wonder who is there for me whatever the cost.

I'm not a victim, I suppose it's all my fault.
Got my mind back and forth between love and war.

My eyes seem to cry when I don't want them to.
Jay, who is Justify My Thug to..
Cause honestly I feel like it's me through You.
I ain never let a muthafucka talk bad about You.

And Wayne, I get nervous when you talk about voodoo..
but only Wayne knows what Wayne has been through.
Had me a little nervous on The Carter, The Walk Through. But Thank You.. Thank You for You.

Kanye, I didn't know if we'd get along..
But Graduation helped me sleep.. every beat, every song.
Thank You for You..You helped me be strong.

Ya'll are like Brothers..Homies I live through..
Not a crazy bitch,..just a sister that feels you.

I don't want to deal with the world.. I'm nervous..on edge..
So Heavenly Father it's to you I pledge..
And this maladaption right here is full fledge.....

So what do I do.. where do I go..Who do I turn to..how do I grow?
What do I know..what's wrong to say..
Do I say fuck the world and live for today?

Don't be afraid right..although I'm aching inside..
It's hard giving up when you know you've tried.

Stressed, but buster free..
Pac, Rest In Peace..
Thank You to the Music..
You've always been there for me.

What More Can I Say..
are you not entertained?
I don't give a lovely muthafuck..just like Wayne..
And I'm wondering.. I'm wondering what it all really means..

When the fuck do I find my dreams.




~23.